I’ll upload the rest in dg forums and maybe facebook on Thurday.
I feel a bit tired after our visit to Malacca. It’s one of those rare days when I’m just not prompted to do anything. Flash assignments is gonna take a while to complete. Maybe 3 days straight. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that it takes so many hours just to create a few seconds of simple animation. I’m used to it but people, including me, do take what we see as cartoons for granted. We don’t realize how many tons of frames animators had to draw. There’s no magic when it comes to making cartoons, or painting pictures, or designing stuff, or making silk, paper, doing embroidery or making carpet.
2 days ago, my dad told me Micheal Jackson passed away the first thing in the morning. I did not thought much about it the whole day until yesterday when the words slowly start to sink in.
“Is he really dead?”
Like suddenly a part of me just left. Just like if you had coffee every morning in the same coffee shop for 20 years and suddenly you realize the coffee house is being bulldozed. I’ve never thought that much about him until now.
The next question was, “wonder whether he’ll be going to heaven or hell?”
I was a fan of his at 15. Before I knew who he was I thought he was a girl. Seriously. He looks like a girl, sounds like a girl, sings like a girl. I mean, at twelve I ask my dad “whose that girl?” or “girl or guy?” And I always thought that he was walking on horizontal escalators when he did the moonwalk. I thought it wasn’t possible. Only when I started digging out my dad’s old DVDs and watched all his videos, I went crazy about it. Not only me, but my eldest sis too.
My father told me before, ” Michael Jackson makes what hip hop is today look like trash.” I do agree with him. Since after I’ve watched Michael Jackson’s 1995 MTV awards performance, other MTV performance just looks so…so-so.
Yesterday I started playing back all his old songs. Some of his songs remain so much in my childhood that it’s impossible to not sing-a-long when the music is on the radio – Heal the World, Man in the Mirror, You are Not Alone, Billy Jean. Some, really inspirational. I felt pitiful for him because of all the curses of fame that made him to, his skin disorder, his sad childhood, people making fun of him, paparazzis catching his nose falling off of his face. I wonder how God judges these people?
Life is really too short. Life here on earth. I have been reminded that I’m here only for a while. It’s not too long until I turn 50 or 70. Today my mom told me that she heard testimonials from her friend about 5 colombian people who had the same dream about heaven and hell. She asked me,
“Guess whose in hell?”
“Who?”
“John Lennon.”
I didn’t look shocked. She started raving about his songs being inspirational and stuff like that. But I told her,
” Mummy, songs may be inspirational. But people can be deceived by wrong inspirations. He is speaking against God in a subtle way. Remember, you’re either against Christ or with him.”
At the end of the day, it’s not how much you achieve or became, or how famous or glamorous you are. It’s whether you are living your life pleasing to God’s eyes. After all, it’s heaven or hell isn’t it?
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I was a bit upset by some people yesterday. 2 namely. Both of them said the same words to me, “for fun.” I felt the urge so much to yell at them. In so many ways, we are that stupid.
Why are you smoking?
For Fun.
Why are you drinking?
For Fun.
Why are you sleeping with your gf?
For Fun.
Why are you taking drugs?
For Fun.
“For Fun” doesn’t even count as a valid reason. It’s classified as dumb, stupid, idiotic, invalid. Sometimes I look at the people around me I was so sure many had bright futures ahead of them. But when I saw them kick start a stupid habit I feel really really upset. If you were a true friend, whether or not you’re close to the person or not, you would tell them and be frank with them. As young people we always have this misconception that we’re gonna live forever. When we’re so comfortable with or day-to-day routines, our easy life, that we do not see poverty in front us, we are not facing heavy burdens of financial crisis. We slowly get absorb into our worldly lifestyle, thinking that everything would be fine if we did this or do that.
I was also pissed when I asked a friend about his problems, because he looked very depressed the last couple of weeks. He said that his coming to church because his waiting for God to help him. If God doesn’t, he’ll leave the church. Like? How can you simply test God like that? You were made for him, not vice versa. Honestly, to have emotions bottled up inside halfway maintaining your cool, I felt giving him a tight slap!! Lucky thing we have something called ’self control’.
I stand firmly at my statement and say to you, “Get real and serious about your life!! God has great plans for you, Christian or not, don’t waste you life on things that you should not be doing.”
It look me a while to finish reading Memoirs of a Geisha. Part of the reason was that I only read 2 chapters a week. Yea… But the book is just so captivating.
No more Japanese styles for me for a long while. Almost everyone’s doing Japanese. So I’m out.
Life carries on as usual with our daily blahs. A simple ‘thank you’ to God the moment our eyes sees the new day is always a guarantee to make the day good. The strikingly orange morning sun seems so captivating as I observe it melting down my skin. After a few weeks of emphasis in relation to light and shadow in nearly every class – photography, 3D Modeling, Marker rendering, concept art, it’s seems impossible to take the sun for granted.
I’m beginning to enjoy my Mondays and Tuesdays being in the house, even if I had caught a bit of flu(no, not swine flu) that has led me to stuffing tissues up my nose so it won’t drip on yesterday’s intense shading process. Part of the reason is that my dad is also doing his regulars in the study room, so I had company a few feet away. We share so many similiarities. For one, we need our environment half messy to even start working.
Sometimes being caught in our terlalu comforting lifestyles, I do ponder how it feels like being in someone else shoes, after all, even if we live different lives, have different jobs, live in different places, we still have our regulars – we still sleep, we still eat, we still go to the loo, we still interact.
I feel like reading…something. Or going somewhere.
Last week’s photography theme was ‘colour’. Normally when I’m too lazy, I’ll find any possible way to turn my room to a photography studio. Strong yellow sunlight always hits my room at about 8.45pm. A perfect way to cheat my way in getting a good picture.
Colour
1. Rainbow pastels.
Taken on my black table. I scrape colour pastels with a blade and swept them across towards one direction using a tissue paper.
2. Watercolor Art
3. Onion Ring
4. More Onions
Fabric was a gift from my uncle from Cambodia. It’s a skirt but I never wore it.
Reflection
1, Saxo-mo-phone
My sis hardly touched her saxophone. Mother’s well use it as a photographic subject.
2. More saxophone
3. Peekaboo building
4. Safety ring.
Upside down picture of the reflection of a swimming pool taken in holiday villa.
5. Patterns of reflection
Taken at the coffee area outside the entrance of Aquaria KLCC.
I could never really tell the difference between love and hate in what I do. Just like how I could never evaluate whether I’m patient or impatient, obsessed or focus, living or dying. If someone were to ask me whether I love what I do. Yes, I do love what I do. There’s been a lot of loving in what I do these 4 weeks because I had yet to feel any burden on my shoulders. I felt that I was breezing my way like I’m skiing through snow. But I guess the more we learn, the more we get highly critical of our work. I always had this problem of liking the outcome at the beginning but by the next morning I find something wrong with it, wanting to rip it to bits. To imagine an immediate burst of anger for one minute can make me think about redoing it again for the entire day!
Our habits so easily develop our lifestyles and day to day routine. My parents always belief that I do nothing but cocoon in my own little own world. Yea, life has been so different from the 2 years back. I go to college, I come back, go to my room, do my assignments. On Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays I sit in front of the computer screen doing assignments, with an exception of attending church, morning or evening outdoor stuff, outdoor to dos, etc. People say your computer becomes your husband, that we’ll eventually become antisocial, being to caught up with our work. Not exactly, the computer is my husband but I don’t turn antisocial. I just talk less and concentrate more.
But I guess when your interest grows day by day as you learn more about it, experience it and be part of it. It’s so difficult to even strike up a conversation with my Dad on what i really hope to do in future. I have cut down long conversations with him and narrow it down to commonalities that has hardly a part of what I’m crazy about. My head is always somewhere in the air, that’s for sure, when I mindlessly look through the car window, or jamming in traffic jams, or starring at the sky. I could never look at things the same way as I used to. I get so sensitive about the colors of the environment, the shadow areas, the light source, the streets, the people, their looks, their expressions, the way they walk , their dressing….just let me be as I be, because half the time when my body walks, my head is in some other world.
I should pray about it but at the same time I’m not being neutral with my decision.
1. An Internship. The Jedi Academy program sounds like a great experience to be part of. The best about being a DG student is that there’s always a demand in the industry.
2. Another Diploma. In Illustration. Am I nuts??? Getting tortured for another 2 years??
Honestly, if I were 16 again, I would have never imagine I would be thinking of this. The girl who literally spend her time doing secretarial work and gluing herself on textbooks dreams about animation, drawing comics, painting concepts, illustrating. I would have never thought of this 3 years ago.
I feel like a jack of all trades, master of none.
I feel like I learn so much, but know so little.
I feel I practice a lot, but still feel so inadequate.
I feel if I don’t continue my flash assignment right now, chances are I’m not gonna sleep tonight.
