1. I want to tear all 3 figures below. I kinda got the idea that if you’re crazy and passionate in what you do, you got to rip your work. pronto. I’ll rip you…you scrummy piece of lousy, useless work!!
2. Psychology is so interesting. Even if I’m reading a college textbook, it’s super interesting. Partly because I’m not studying or having any exams. Thanks Ann Ee!
3. My father uses more Facebook than me.
4. I’ve started pasting countdowns on my wall. 13 more days of temporary freedom left. Subconsciously influences you to stop procrastinating and finish your list of leisure to-dos.
5. My sister still play more computer games than me.
6. I’m getting hooked to Marvel.
7. I want to fail something so badly, like I’ve drop into such a deep ditch and there’s no way out. I want to screw something up! I want to see how people react on my behavior, like I’m some sort of scientific experimentation. MUAHAHAHA!!!
8. I really like being alone. Because I like being alone.
9. I really like to experience crazy mood swings. I control myself too much.
10. I wonder how’s it like being dead then brought to life again. People who’d experience it felt at peace and felt themselves floating above to bright light. Of course, it doesn’t apply to everybody.
figures drawing using picture references taken from the net.
Drawn with inspiration,
ruined by impatience.
Top 2 – 2hour 30 min. Ballerina – 1 hour.
I need to be more patient. I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient.I need to be more patient. Time to go out. Whhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many experiences in life seems to drift by like the wind when you realized that you’re walking on a slow, sound path again. I tend to forget that I’m turning 19 this year. At some points I tell myself, “Gosh, that’s old!” At this age London kids would had been kicked out from their parents house, finding jobs to support themselves and their college fees, renting their own hub to live in. Basically, being capable and independent.
It’s odd that the same question jams in my brain nearly everyday, “What had I been learning the last 5 years of my life in high school?” I felt like I’ve learn nothing. I just memorized formulas, dates, reasons, anything that was solely based on the textbook, and vomited everything out the next day. I was bloody good at doing that. But I learned nothing, only a thing or 2 that was applicable in my daily life. Not every subject was irrelevant. Some subjects were good to know. But many, without doubt, hinders the brain from possibly being hungry to want to know more.
Suddenly scoring high 90s for sejarah, economics and science only made me feel stupid because I was obedient. What I learn the most from school was exactly what my dad told me; whatever that I learn from the CF became of absolute importance to how I did things today.
It was only at 18 that I realized how much I did not know about the world. I wasn’t very much of a bookworm until 17. From 18 onwards I started opening Newsweek, National Geographic, Times, political books. I googled companies, people, countries. I couldn’t believe how blur I am with the rest of the world, that I’d never look at things in a more broader and deeper perspective. I wish that I took drawing seriously in high school, but sadly, no one ever did. We never had much thought of how far we could dream. That maybe 5 years of high school I should not have spend my time studying too much, but rather, focused on what I was passionate and crazy about. Many things I had studied just when down the drain. Many wasn’t applicable to the real world. Outdated, not usable, kapeesh before my very eyes. Much ever so, I’m really happy to be part of SU, part of the CF in particular, that I learn so much, within 3 to 4 years, that because of that, high school wasn’t much of a waste.
Since I came to TOA every holiday always injects me with enthusiasm because of the freedom I had to learn and explore things on my own within a time span of 3 weeks. My passion fires up again, as though I fell in love with animation, concept art, illustrations, filming, and directing all over again. Works of famous artist would either inspire you or bring you down because of how little and inexperience you are, sets you back to your drawing table to pick up that pencil once again. We tend to forget that we started from ground 0. Right now, it’s only Level 2. Even sometimes drawing a line could tell how much you lack confidence in your own work, knowing that so much has already been achieve, so much has already been done, so much has already been accomplish. So where do you stand? Then you yell in your mind and tell yourself, “This SUCKS! Change this! Screw that! I hate it! This won’t work! Ew! Redraw!!”, forgetting how much you’ve improved over that past few months.
I have decided 3 years ago that I would put an end to my kiasuness. I gave up on it. Like how much I gave up on beating someone else. That I have decided to give glory to God through my work, even though sometimes I feel that I did not do what I’ve initially promised.
Through many of my personal experiences, I find myself very much of a loner. Most of the time, I like to spend time in solitude. Other times, I did feel alone and secluded. But I like being a loner. Being unnoticed. Being unknown. That I really thought hard about people’s testimonials, questioning myself, ” Would I ever let my passions, my dreams, my goals, my ambitions, my skills, what I have learn, everything that I desire — GO?; if one day God tells me to answer my calling?”
It’s a really tough decision to make. I pray and hope that I don’t dream too big. Because the more assured I am about the decisions I make on my future, the less assured I am on where God takes me. It is true when Clarissa narrate to us what she has read, “many people pray for affirmation, not direction”. I am one of it. I make a firm stand on the choices I’ve made, like how a tree is deeply rooted to the ground. But I love how the spirit just sets you free like the wind, that you are not confined to anything.
I’d never assumed God led me to do animation. It was a personal choice. I was my ‘little kids dream”. I started drawing when I was 4 and like many other kids who love drawing, it felt perfectly natural. Continued drawing in primary school but doodled during high school. It’s like you’re meant for it. Something that makes you happy when you do it. Something natural, something that you do without much thought. My mum and aunt told me many of things we love to do when we were young reflects what we do in the future. My aunt used to look at architecture and interior design books when she was 10. She became an Interior Designer then. My uncle loves to tinkle with stuff when he was young. He became a contractor when he grew up. So we do personally decide on our career choice, but I still find calling differs to career.
There are about 6.77 billion in the world. How many of them actually found their purpose? How many of them know their calling? How many feel lost? How many thought about this?
The dentist found it rather extraordinary that I didn’t had to bring along someone to comfort me. I didn’t knew pulling out my wisdom tooth was considered a minor surgery which cost $$$ kaching kaching. She said that most patients hate the thought of surgery and injections, that I was one of those few stable kind.
I had 60 stitches at the back of my ear when I was 16. Why should I be scared of a little teeth falling off?
Wisdom tooth no 2 would be coming out 4 months later.
PS: You guys should visit your dentist to get some dental checkup.
I love mindlessly observing people’s lives, drawing, understanding culture, analyzing lifestyles, deciphering thoughts, pondering where all these 900 souls in the train go to at the end of the day. I had not been drawing for 4 days so my hands got me craving for a pen and paper. Life drawing sessions turned out to be more like a line art session in the train. The people were moving, the train was shaking, and there goes my straight line. Avoiding people catching me keeping my eyes fixed on them as I try to put life on paper, I would just shift eye contact and let my mind doodle something else.
I’m starting to wonder whether I’m going to be a serious Star Wars book collector. It’s just something I treat myself to every term break. I wanted “Dressing the Galaxy” more than cross sections. Because they had illustrations on costume concepts which I very much love, especially dressing Padme. I fell in love with her dress when I first watch Attack of the Clones at 12. Many of my girl friends did to. I guess it’s like a girly fantasy that we never truly left behind, that we just like being princesses or queens………sigh……………..
Too bad I’m more of a realist than a dreamer.
Bought the Pop Up book which my sis wanted. Still find it impractical to spend so much on this when I don’t find it that usable in future, even though I think it’s one of the best pop-up books I’ve seen. But she’s paying. So whose complaining?
Other than reading Marvel, I spend most of my time in Kino being submerged into “Daughters of Arabia”. The story was told by my friend when I was about 15. I never thought deeply about her narration of the storyline until when I spot the book and read it halfway last year in Popular. I was totally hooked to it. The story was about women’s oppression in Saudi Arabia, written by a royal princess. Many things that I read about and wonder whether these things are true is true: There are men and women being shot dead with firearms if they had an affair, women turned to lesbians because of how much hatred they had on their men, men beating their wives and treating their wives as no more than someone who gives them pleasure, men buying “temporary brides”, as young as age 12 from poor families in Yemen just for their pleasures and then sell them to other men, their idea of “legal prostitution”. The details tells in the book. Just when you think people could get any more perverted and wrong, people really are more perverted than you could ever think off.
I’d skip buying the book. Money’s flying out of my pocket. Would finish reading it in bookstores. It’s better than most fictional books you’ve read. Because unlike fictional books, this is real.
As promised, I would post what I have done for the past 112 days.
Not everything, just the projects that I want to post.
I had decided to skip on all unnecessary details of how heavy this term is. Not that people ever truly care.
I realized I’m becoming more like a partially opened book.
I might say a lot, have an opinion about something, or love to mindlessly ask questions, complain a lot, yell, scream, shout, pull my hair,
but I remain silent over many of the reasons and decisions I make in life.
Ok. Enough of rambling. I’ll start with the awesomely heavy Mondays. Be sure enlarge the pics.
1. Life Drawing.
Life drawing would be the best subject to take if you ever want to get your figures grounded. Improved a lot on figures within a time span of 12 weeks, although I still think my figures look distorted. I think Seamus style of drawing has rubbed on to me. I’m beginning to draw profiles like him, place points like him, construct figures like him. But I could never seem to mimic his nearly perfect figures, perfect handwriting, perfect circles, perfect line, and his nearly perfect constructions. Oh yea, I know why. Because I’m not Seamus.
Just to annoy you, 2-10 sketch each, depending on the time the lecturer has set for us. Malas buat shading:
Turnaround exercise. I was out of paper for this one… so I used my old bouncing ball animation papers. Liquid it off but still can be seen. Look properly and you can see a bouncing ball at the back.
2. Typography
I thought I would not enjoy this subject, but like letterforms, dislike turns to like. Probably because Lily gave us freedom to explore on our own individual style, even if she makes us do so many thumbs. I hardly showed Lily thumbnails during the last weeks (because I hardly ever did any, or had time to do). Malas buat banyak. I’m pretty much of a one track “I know what I want” person in terms of dealing with producing proper work within such an ungodly time span. But yea, you give me more time, I’ll give you more experiments and thumbs.
Believe or not. I like Lily. Ask me why when you chat with me the next time.
Postcard Design:
These words was taken from a quotation. I felt this way when I was working on the postcard. I really wanted to be free from the obedience of being subjected to the college. How much of patience my spirit could take could be at a brink point of the most unbearable. The spirit doesn’t wait. It roams free like the wind.
CD Cover Design:
I wanted to retain Maksim style. Worked towards a style of simplicity and elegance. There’s a lot of back and forth with Photoshop and Illustrator because of the need to maintain the sharpness of the words but also play with the effects as well. One of my classmates told me the work didn’t look authentic. He was right. But I was already done with it by then. It got me thinking about my design again. Maybe next time I’ll design something more authentically me rather than placing emphasis on the artist.
I love photoshop. Pays to listen in Michael’s class. The basics of photoshop is one of the most powerful skills to know.
Poster Design:
My dad says that the college trains us to work under a lot of pressure so we’ll be immune to it in future. Right. Heading straight to abstract art, abstract stuff is fun. Like colour diary. Practically close my eyes doing it. I wanted the baby to be my main illustration of the poster, but I guess abstraction has a way of delivering a different approach to how a concept is perceived. Again, photoshop is my babeh! Because the work done on texture paper was actually smeared with chalk and looked extremely dull.
More abstracts:
3. Drawing for Animation
Continuation from my robot design. I had fun with this one though. Except I know my cockpit looks really flat. haha. Rather choose vehicle than weapon. No need to draw that much mechanics. yay!
4. 2D Animation
The most heaviest subject.
The subject that students not to say ‘despise’, but work till the wee hours at the morning to complete.
The subject that gave us so many days of eye bags.
The subject that people don’t look at it as much of a big deal, because it’s plainly cartoons.
The subject that takes a while to understand and apply principles properly, particularly timing, squash and stretch, and slow ins and outs.
The subject that needs detailed planning if you want things to turn out the way you pictured them.
The subject that not many would appreciate how much sweat and blood that when through the process.
The subject that killed so many trees because of the number of frames we had to draw.
My favourite subject.
To think animation is easy. You are so dead wrong.
Ball with Tail:
Syed normally critic that my animation is ok but there’s always something that needs a little bit more tweaking. Yea, I pretty much understood what he meant. Just that we prefer submitting un-perfect work rather than go back to change part by part, because it consumes so much time that you barely have time for your next assignment.
Poncho:
I drew more than 400 frames for this. But I like this one the most. Because I finally understood how to use timing.
The Diva Walk:
The walk was shot on ones. I would never ever ever ever shoot 2D animation on ones again..EVER!! Unless I’m Richard Williams. It was done by accident! And because it looked good on ones…so…T.T…Imagine drawing each frame having a 1 mm difference from each other. Plus 25 frames per second. Tracing is far worse. Bout 250 frames of work. Each background pan was about 150 frames done on Photoshop.(that’s why I heart my photoshop so much). Painting took nearly one whole day, which I regreted doing. Should had put my time in my cartoon character project.
5. Cartoon Character Design.
I ruined this one. Everybody put so much effort in their final battle scene but I ruined mine. But nvm, let bygones be bygones. The last 2 days before my break I had been drawing from day and night, rushing to complete this. Doesn’t matter now.
Right now I’m putting to a close on whatever I had done, reorganizing my folders again, throwing every single junk mail out from my mail box, updating my facebook and DA account. Basically, reviving whatever that has been long dead for the past 4 months. Getting back to the tracks, doing the things that I have been put on a hold for the past months, running errands, reading Malaysiakini again. I feel like I’m back on earth again.
There’s something very therapeutic about clearing up your room and making it all squeaky clean.
Last week, my mom got some workers to paint and patch up bits and pieces of paint that was falling off. I wanted to do it myself but she, like me, has limited amount of patience in her. Right now, my room is in a darker shade of blue, giving it a very calming effect and also creates an environment that is sure to put me to sleep.
I’d like to clarify this to you…..I AM AN EXTREMELY MESSY NEAT PERSON. If you truly understand what it means.
We have to shift out all our stuff.And when I say stuff I mean a lot of stuff.
But I really had the urge to put to a close this 4 months of my life. When I mean put to a close, I mean wipe out nearly every existing form of assignment that gave me dejavus of 4.00 o clock in the morning work the moment I see it. My dad did a great job dumping back my stuff into the room again.
I am so dumping:
Keeping:
Rounds up to 70% of what I work on I threw. I kept most of Li Wen’s and Candice work though. Threw all my history of Art and Design 2, because it plays nothing of significance in what I see in it. Last time I used to think it’s better to keep your assignments to see how much you’ve progress, but now I just think that it does nothing but congest tons of space. So I kept the one that meant most to me.
There we go! Cleaner…but still left bits and pieces to sort out. One good way to make life more simple.
I took a walk back to the past again by joining the CF for their Easter Rally. I did enjoy myself but I came expecting something because it was Pastor Gurmit preaching. I wanted to be assured of what he told me a few years back but he made me a more confused about my future. He told me something which I never thought of, had never intended, had never want to, had never had any desire to, had never dream of doing. That I would only serve him in that way through worship but nothing else other than how the world portrays it. I felt a stir of confusion deep within me. All I know is that I’m heading back to quiet reflections and prayer because I do not understand. If you want to know what he said you would never get it out from me until a few years later. But I’m glad I celebrated Easter with the CF, because, well, I didn’t exactly celebrated Easter.
I had to leave early because I was on my way to watch the Philharmonic Orchestra with my dad.
Matin, you were right. It was good. But I wished we picked specific dates to watch featured sessions rather than normal MPO performance. The quality of the orchestra was excellence but the music just seem to come and go and to be deemed forgetable. It was better to listen with my eyes close and picture animation moving in my mind, just like watching Fantasia. I don’t think I’ll be going for a normal MPO performance again. To be honest, I like orchestra music but I pick specifically classical music that I like. Too much would bore you till death. Just like ballet. You watch their perfect beginnings with perfect precision in body movement but then later everything feels the same. I like blockbuster music. Duh! Cause movie music was meant to compliment the storyline of the movie. That’s why I’m such a sucker for John Williams. But i did enjoy the experience. The hall was nicely designed with organ pipes sticking to the walls. Tickets were actually very cheap. Tons of ‘ang mo’s there, because Malaysians hardly had any appreciation for art. That’s why my dad told me the income of the musicians are probably funded by Petronas. Tickets would not help them keep bread on the table. And yea, our so called “Malaysian” Philharmonic are all international peeps. You were asking that question, Matin. “Why do they call it Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra”. Well, I really don’t know. I would cancel the word “Malaysian” in front.
