I’m having temporary moodiness. I think my period’s coming. Because I would really think things through before yelling that I hate or like something. I don’t know is it because of that growing hatred to get my robot design functioning, or that envious thought of the illustration students having being able to illustrate the things I want to illustrate, or that growing disillusion of my future.
Robot design drives me nuts. Ish. I could say I’m still very new to robot design. I wouldn’t confirm anything unless I’m really satisfied with the design and mechanics.
I hate myself for that.
So Darren, whatever I said this evening, I was emo-ing. I thought of it through, and I realize that only subject that I struggled with is Analytical Drawing. Other than that, other subjects feels a bit more smooth sailing, other than 2D.
I feel caught between an incompleteness that I would not feel fulfilled if I don’t learn both. The trouble with me is I want to know about things that interest me, besides my own field. And hell yea, I have tons of things I’m interested in. Sometimes it feels like an extremely greedy thought. But I have made my decision just 2 days ago to surrender to how the college treats me and let them torture me for the next 2 years. I’ll find my own escapedoism in my own inner sanctum.
I already looking forward to the holidays. 8 weeks from now to me feels quite fast. I can’t wait to get my grubby paws on old classic movies, getting my sis to borrow Charlie Chaplin films from her college library, re-watching Disney films, Heading down to the art galleries in KL again, meeting old mates, and just slowly getting back that growing excitement and love for art and animation again, being able to get grounded with drawing(my figures suck drawing it with imagination).
PS: If any of you see me emo-ing when I’m working on my robot…look away… I’ll start smiling once it’s done.