Some shorts

I was watching short film animation on youtube, both 2D and 3D. Some of these pieces are very beautifully done, a simple story with music and animation alone.

This piece is done by Disney…probably a long time ago. Ten times better and more wholesome than High School Musical. duh.

Poor girl died in the end.

The animation below was done by a french company – combining both 2D and 3D…. just like how tekkonkinkreet was done. I kinda like the approach to this kinda animation… it really feels like watching a painting move. Very charming and captivating. I find that french companies produce more arty and breathtaking animation. Feels like there’s a bit more magic than most.

It has something to do with human psychology.

Soothing Waters

Yesterday there was an aura of unhappiness in a few people.

Somehow I feel like comforting someone, but I might not be the best person to comfort that person.

2 days ago I watch my sister from the time she slept until she woke up. I can’t believe I worked on my 2D till 7am in the morning and fell asleep on the desk. Haha! fell asleep on my desk, the last place I’d ever like to sleep. But I’m happy with the outcome. Just want to redo a few bits then I’ll post it up. Remember when I said about running the extra mile? Well, God, you can jolly well beat me up for being so unwise and overly ambitious to overwork this assignment.

Compared to last week, yesterday and the day before was different. I could actually hear the birds singing in the morning!! No…I’m not in love. But I’d listening to the sound of the wind and trickling raindrops falling on my head. I could feel the breeze and smell the misty morning air. I mean, does Rachel really bothers about nature as a whole? I was having some minor migraines but I’d never been more observant to nature than the last 2 days. I just feel at peace, feeling the tranquility of the atmosphere, so beautiful, so silent, so serene….

That prayer. I remembered I prayed for peace and comfort in the car….

The working world teaches you a hell load of things of how the world works. But nature teaches you things that the world could never teach you.

I feel like smiling.
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I pretty sure some of my classmates really feel the weight and burden on their shoulders. Each of us has our own set of individual challenges when it comes to dealing with the same set of assignments. But remember, we’re in this together, whether or problems differ from one individual to another. So don’t lock yourself up and keep to your own world.
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Ok, enough about yesterdays. What was I thinking of today? Besides having the awesomely sedap kau kau wonderful 12 hours of sleep, we took our Moral test, which I still think it’s useless and stupid. This subject is far from reaching it’s goal to turn us into a morally right person. Mother’s well flush it down the toilet. What are the benefits of this test to an Art student? Shading the answers of course! Lets play the game that Seamus taught us. Shade the box using neat clean strokes….woopie. (I must be nuts)

I have not been keeping up with the political trends of Malaysia these days. The first reason is because of that thought of the endless pool of assignments. The second, is that politics have turn into a form of gossip.

So Malaysians, please leave Elizabeth Wong alone. You guys are real sickos to continue gossiping about her.

I was flipping through the Star today, half eating breakfast(oh finally! Some decent breakfast). There was a comment written by someone saying that our politics has turn into a “pasar malam”. YES…it’s the power grabbing, fighting to maintain your position, ruining someone’s reputation, corrupted kinda pasar malam. So why waste my time reading this things? Adeline sometimes harp to me about all these power grabbing gimmicks but I’m like, “so? vote la, next elections”. When Malaysia starts talking about combating REAL issues like the recession, corruption and stuff like misuse of funds…then I’ll start looking into politics again.

In the meantime, I’ll read more on US politics. So much more worthwhile.

Unshed Tears

I spend my whole day doing your assignment yet I’m still not done.

Have you not have any form of mercy?

I tried to cry but tears just won’t come out.

It’s useless. I’m immune to it.

I don’t pay the college to design magazine layouts for goodness sake!

Haven’t you thought of the killer lifestyle of a DG student?

I know you’re hard core, but work LAGI hard core than you.

For some reason I feel like a rat being used for a scientific experiment.

It’s gonna be another hell of a ride until Wednesday.

Here we go again.

Buckle up. It’s gonna get bumpy.

Moody thoughts of a tortured student.

PS: I’m writing to Tatsun. One day, I’m gonna step into his office to cry in front of him. Let his heart melt with pity and compassion to cut off our workload. That’ll be the day.

That extra mile.

The last 2 days has been tough on the class. I’m fairly disappointed at some of my work. Syed didn’t seem too happy about our work either. We were so careful, hoping we don’t screw up that we had to end up redoing. The sad thing about doing animation as an assignment is that you can’t afford to make any mistakes or it’ll cost you your time, pronto. So our animation ended up dull, predictable, boring, sad. Because we were too afraid to exaggerate or to make mistakes.

The question that Syed would ask us every week is : “So, do you still wanna do animation?”

And we all answer in a sheepish “YesSsSs…”

This is the only subject that I wanted to put my most effort in. I grew up watching Disney movies and cartoons that I realize I wanted to do this well, badly. 2D is tough compared to other subjects. Tough to master. Takes years. And the other sad truth is people take animators lightly because we draw simplified drawings. But like what Syed said ‘we are a different breed of artist altogether’. You can draw, but doesn’t mean you can animate well.

I came back home getting more nagging and scolding from my mom over reasons of not having enough sleep, coming back late, and my irregular routines. The nagging feels like buzzes and mumbles from her mouth which is merely impossible to comprehend because my brain was half asleep in the mist of blurriness. It hurts that your family don’t understand your situation and struggles, that you felt that you were scolded because you were obedient.

I kept thinking of Mr. Jacob in my subconscious mind the last few days. It’s people like him that leaves a mark to many students when we leave school to began a new chapter of our lives. I remembered how we always bring all our teenage negativity to him, telling him that “I can’t do it”, “it’s too hard for me to handle” or “I’m gonna fail”. He would always give a pat on my shoulder and say “No Rachel, you can do it. You’re capable.” I remembered another time when Ji Ming and I met him in his office. He encouraged us to be “people of influence”. I remembered that he would always laugh at almost anything, no matter how lame our jokes are. He would always smile but say nothing when people joke about him or poke on people. It’s kinda like “you know you shouldn’t say that” kinda smile. He was and is very special person. God given. Gifted to touch. I miss him lots.

I remembered how much we learned from building and running the CF. How much our capability of handling things was based on that. How I was mold and shape during my teen years on morality, leadership skills, secretarial and management skills. Most of all, how my faith was properly established at 16, that finally, I was lost no more.

So when I recalled what Syed had said, “do you still wanna do animation?” I came back home thinking what God was trying to tell me. It was more like “Do you still want to run this race for me?”, or “Can you run that last extra mile for me?”

I skidded off and took an evening jog this evening, thinking, ” You know I would, Lord. It’s just….hard.”

G : Keep going.

R : But I’m tired.

G : Keep going.

R : But I need sleep.

G : Keep going. Lean on me and keep going.

R : How long more?

I took the longer distance before heading back. I remembered writing that passage somewhere in my notebook:

I might be tired, but not tired enough to continue on serving him. It’s still in a fresh start to all of us on animation, that beginnings are always the hardest.

Apocalypse

It’s quite incredible how our body works. It’s like we always have spare batteries to keep us going.  On Thaipusam, I ended up procrastinating and fell asleep in the afternoon and woke up at 8.30pm at night. “Dang it!” I ended up doing Jason’s work until 7.30am the next morning. I got one hour’s rest till 8.30am before heading on to college.

Funny. How do we define procrastination? Is it just really…dragging our work till the last minute? Because from the way I see it, if you decide not to procrastinate, you’re still gonna do your assignments every hour, without having that much of free time. So the equation goes like this:

(excluding meal times)(Per day).

100% assignment + 0% procrastination + 0% free time +  adequate amount of sleep =

60% assignments + 40% procrastination + 0% free time + 4-5 hours of sleep =

40% assignments + 60% procrastination + 0% free time +2-3 hours of sleep + scolding from lecturers = T.T

Procrastination = anything that involves playing = playing the computer, exercising, reading, blogging, surfing the net, reading the news, watching TV, etc…

So pick your choice.

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I spend some time at the morning of Thaipusam to read  Revelations. It’s the scariest book in the Bible, difficult to understand at some points, very symbolic and representational, and one of the most interesting books that keeps you thinking. How should I start narrating? So many details…

Revelations is the last book in the Bible, aka our future. Opposite of Genesis, indicating judgment day, the end of the world, death and destruction upon earth, and creation of a new heaven and earth. No one would know exactly when judgment day would come, no matter how much someone tries to crack codes of the possibilities in the dates. It was written by John based on his vision, that the Holy Spirit had told him to write what he had seen and send it to the 7 churches in Asia.

John had a vision of Christ, whom commanded him to write down what he had seen, sending the book 7 churches of Asia – Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea. All these cities are located at present day Turkey. I’m not sure whether Turkey would consider itself as a region of Asia today. We would classify it under “Middle East”, so I’m not too sure whether we have more than 5 continents in the world now.

You know I don’t like tags, but…

Fine, KK.

I am not : that much of a girly girl, but doesn’t mean that I don’t like playing dress up or messing around with my face. Because I do, just that I don’t normally do it.

I hurt : when people look down on soon-to-be artist like me. That they think our work is just plain drawing and colouring. I could strangle them for that.

I love : the times when I’m absolutely lost in my own world thinking, dreaming, creating, reflecting and for some reason, talking to God.

I hate : sleep deprivation.

I fear : screwing things up, badly.

I hear : my mom yelling at me at 4am in the morning to go to bed. Scare the heck off you…

I cry cried : when I watched Titanic. How could I cry watching Titanic??

I care : for quite a number of people around me.

I always : brush my teeth in the morning. I like my breathe stink-free, thank you.

I long to : be a Concept Artist, Art Director, Director, and my own boss someday. Wait…I also long to have my own kids. I want boys because my family is full of girls. I want to travel and explore the world. I long to give Najib a karate kick. I long to shake hands with George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Steve Jobs, and maybe go to Disneyland someday. I long to make my own animation film someday. I long to give people hope. I long one day to have a clear cut calling from God. I’m still waiting and praying.

I listen: and eavesdrop when I’m doing my own thing. Used to do it a lot.

I hide: a lot of thoughts.

I drive : to college 15 minutes before class starts and always managed to come to class earlier than the lecturer. (Most of the time)

I sing : in the shower, in the car, in church, in front of the computer screen, when I’m fooling around with Ratzo, in the night, to my dog.

I dance : in the shower, I bet you do it too.

I write : when I have an opinion.

I breathe : and realized that I’m still alive.

I play : with Ratzo, a LOT.

I miss : CF camps.

I search : for my eraser buried under a thick chunk of stationery and rubbish on my table.

I learn : a lot of things through observation, application and reading.

I feel : Like lazing on my cosy, soft, warm, comfortable, snuggly, cushy bed right now. oh yea…

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………………………

30 minutes later…

I know : a lot of things in this world is not worth much.

I succeed : when I do the best I can based on how much I can do.

I fail : when I forgotten about the deadline?

I dream : of very weird dreams which I forget once I wake up.

I sleep: when my assignments are 80% done.

I wonder : about the unexplainable mysteries of the universe.

I want : to kiss my dog now. Hold on…

I worry : about things that if given a bigger picture, there’s not much to worry about.

I have : been blessed too much.

I give : a lot of tips if you sit beside me long enough.

I fight : for justice and rights of the people.

I wait: for my next holiday. Woohoo!

I need : time.

I am : very conservative in keeping values and principles in tact, being wise to obey certain guidelines God has given, rebellious in nature to break free from the rules of the corporate world, liberal in new technology and innovation, hates to work under people but rather, work with people, likes the simple things in life like drinking Milo once in a blue moon, smelling roast chicken from the oven, or eating the best bah kut teh’s in town etc… always the first person to break tradition, but know where I stand and what I stand for.

I think: I should start Jason’s work now.

I can’t help the fact that : I analyze too much

I stay : in a country with plenty to eat.

I smile : when i get enough sleep and when my dog greets me.

I will : make sure I finish Jason’s work by today.

I should : be doing my assignments now.

I tag: Johnny Tai, Ann Ee, Jun Yuen…gosh..really.

Perak Protest

In my opinion, the best solution is to wait —-

to wait for the next elections so that we can show them once more what “people power” is.

to wait for BN to stir up enough angry protesters.

to wait for Anwar to capture Sabah & Sawarak within a time span of  4 years.

to wait for Najib to generate more hatred among the people.

to wait —– for our generation, to be eligible to…….vote.

Photo Memories

Moral class was canceled today so I took some time to clear up trash in my room. I dug through my “memory” drawer again and flip through some class photos. I started laughing at all the dorky pictures of myself, looking at how much I have grown up as years go by. Normally I would look at the past photos and get angry about how ugly I look. But I think some self esteem has been built on me over the past few years about how I feel of myself. I started appreciating and liking how imperfect my body and looks are. There was a letter in there, something I wrote last year to myself. It’s a goal writing letter that you write to the future you to ask how much have you improved. I used this same exercise for the Sunday School students. It’s not a resolution, but a form of motivation for the present and in future.

The letter was titled ” To be opened on February the 1st, year 2009.”

In  the beginning of the letter I wrote “written on 4th October 2008.” I have listed down 6 goals. Only manage to achieve one. But everything else I’m still working on and improving on it.  Normally writing goals can either make you feel bad or good about yourself in result of your focus on it. I’m actually quite glad at the bottom of the letter I wrote to myself “whether or not I managed to achieve during this duration of 5 months, I motivate myself to always keep moving forward and constantly get excited about things…….so remember, write another goal after reading this!”

Talk about the degree of siokness I have for writing this.  I’m quite glad that I remembered to open the letter.

Okay, back to photos. Here are some of the key photos of growing up. One day I’ll post my dorky pictures. If I have the guts.

This is my kindergarden class photo – 6 years old (1996). Guess where am I standing?

Standard 1. I love this teacher a lot. She was extremely kind and nice to us.

Class 3 Theta.(2005)

4 Kappa (2006)

My favourite. The CF. (2006)

Now I shall post something not many people would post. My report card in Lick Hung. Why? Because people keep thinking that I’m some gila perfectionist – which I am so not. I was very average in my class when I was young. Some years being nearly at the bottom of the class. My results were actually ok. It’s just that everyone else were like 80 and above? And btw, I suck at Chinese and Malay. I’m really bad when it comes to picking up language.

This is my standard 2 report card. The teacher was really pretty….and evil. I don’t think she liked me at all. My results ain’t that bad. But I’m like 42/29, 34/54, 32/40, 41/49 in the class. Super kiasu monkeys. Look at the English section – NO MARKS? Ish.

Standard 5. I have lots of 50s for Chinese, Science, and Malay. Why Science? Because Science was in Chinese, DUH! But you know what. I like what I see. Because compared to my sis who gets all As all the way. I see improvement in subjects as the years go by. It’s really odd how much we change, how much we are influenced to change, or how much we decide to change.